Thanksgiving Blessings, Remembering Gary
Thanksgiving this year will not be like any other one you have experienced. Well, that is true at every Thanksgiving, of course. But this year is particularly different. Our families are not able to gather as they once did. Our elderly relatives may be unable to leave their homes, our young people unable to travel. Many places of business are not open. Our church doors stay closed. The visions that we have of a traditional, Canadian Thanksgiving weekend seem oddly out of sync with reality.
But this last week I over saw two traditional – though distanced – services – a funeral and a wedding. And though it was challenging to speak to grieving people whose faces were covered and to shout across an open field on a golf course as bubbles of people were spaced out at an outdoor wedding, I saw that the things that are really important remained the same.
We are berefted when we lose someone we love. We all want to gather for tea and sandwiches after we lay someone in the ground. No matter how long a person lived, we still want just one more day, one more hug, one more conversation.
We come to weddings in a kind of nervous, giddy state. The flower girls always steal the show, unless they are upstaged by the ringbearer who has no idea why he is carrying a white pillow. Brides weep and giggle all at the same time. And the look on a groom’s face when he watches his bride walk down the aisle is the very best part of it all because in that moment of fragility, of hope, of terror, of adoration is all that is precious about the human condition. It is impossible not to be moved.
The important matters in life have not changed. We live. We die. And hopefully, in between we love. A lot.
So this thanksgiving, don’t fuss about what you don’t have, or who you can’t see, or the fancy dinner that you are missing. Know beyond a doubt that the important things have not altered, they are only hidden at the moment. Let go of all animosity to everyone and love this world exactly as it is right now. It is a beautiful place and God’s mercy is so boundless, so generous, there is no room for regrets of any kind.
Remember that you are a wonder. And so is everyone else.
Our beloved Gary Shaver died this last Sunday. He will be deeply missed in his newly adopted community in Shelburne and his earlier community of St. Catherines. Jennifer and Gary modelled for us what devotion looks like - devotion to one’s chosen partner and devotion to one’s chosen faith. Even though Gary had been unwell for quite some time, he was always cheerful, helpful, supportive, and kind. Watching Jennifer and he work together in partnership was a real treat. Gary’s sweet presence always left me feeling softer, kinder towards the world. I am sure he had this effect on many people.
Jennifer cared devotedly for Gary through this long period of Covid, where visits have been nearly impossible and trips to the hospitals a trial. But they have had our wonderful local paramedics to care for them as well as their son and grandsons near by. They have been well surrounded with affection and prayers. Please keep Jennifer in your thoughts. She is much in need of rest, so cards mailed or dropped off are the best way to let her know you are thinking of her.
“Oh, Lord, you have given me so much. Please give me one more thing - a grateful heart. ”
Shaver, Gary Alton
December 25, 1942 – October 4, 2020
Predeceased by his parents Alton and Ruth (Weagant) Shaver. Survived by his loving wife of 57 years, Jennifer (Jan) nee Toogood; sons Lance and Tracy; grandsons Andrew and Jesse; sister Marilyn Jessica Leeder (Gunter Allman); sister-in-law Patricia McCarthy (Gerald, predeceased); brother-in-law Richard Toogood (Ruth); nieces Paige, Lara, Deborah, Linda, Karen, Wanda and spouses; nephews Warren, Rick, Brian, Brendan and spouses; many great-nieces and great-nephews; cousins and his lifelong friend, Gary Powell.
Gary enjoyed a long, successful career as a Royal Bank Branch Manager in Metcalfe, Stittsville, Winchester, Markham and Midland, Ontario. He held executive positions in the Lions Club, 100 Club, Chamber of Commerce, Rotary Club and the United Church.
Gary was a lifelong sports enthusiast, an avid reader, and collector of books and music.
The Shaver Family wishes to extend our heartfelt thanks to Dr. Carl Fung, Dr. Hans Epp, Dr. A. Bhamber (Valerie & Staff), Dr. Paul Martin-Smith (Susan), My Health Centre (Jennifer & Trudy), Dr. M. Husain, the Dufferin County Paramedics, Pharmacist Sanjay Lekhi, and Dr. S. Nadarajah & Staff at Headwaters ICU for all the wonderful health care that Gary received over the years.
Cremation to take place. Interment at a later date at Oakville Cemetery in Brockville, Ontario. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Heart & Stroke Foundation or the SPCA.
I don't know about tomorrow
I just live for day to day
I don't borrow from the sunshine
For it's skies may turn to grayI don't worry o'er the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what lies aheadMany things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my handEv'ry step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter
Ev'ry cloud is silver linedThere the sun is always shining
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the skyMany things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my handIra F. Stanphill